July 9th 2012- Day 1
So I woke up July 9th 2012 already starving…and I’m not a breakfast person. Typically, I would wake up and drink 2 cups of coffee before I even start thinking …of anything. But, I always end up eating something big. Bacon and eggs anyone?
If I have errands or appointments for the day, I just skip food for most of the day. Which is terrible for a person like me that has a slow metabolism.
But today, I woke up starving. My guess? My mind knew I was going to start a diet and was already siking myself out. Remember how I said this is also mental? Watch out for the mental challenges a health routine throws out. They are far harder to overcome than the physical. My mind, always a rebel. Can’t really blame it. That’s my nature.
So I ignored the voices in my head and the grumble in my tummy. I made my coffee. I absolutely refused to give up coffee. ( Later I found out the coffee itself is good for you, the caffeine in it speeds up your metabolism, it’s the stuff you put in it that you have to be careful for) I did try however, to put just a splash of milk and one sugar. Not used to it. But drinkable. Then I portioned out a cup of honey nut cheerios. I splashed milk over it, putting as little as I could, but enough to moisten the cheerios.
*My suggestion, if you can afford milk alternatives. Use it. But, I’m working with groceries my parents buy. I would really like to try the almond soy milk. I heard its good for you and taste good too. *
My goal for my first meal is mostly portion control. Actually that’s the goal for my whole diet. Portion everything. Try to follow the serving sizes and a ball park guess of the calories, fat, sodium and carbs you are consuming. Try to achieve a balance. Adjust it to your body…because everyone is different with different needs.Most importantly, try not to starve.
I quite enjoy cereal in the morning to be honest. It can be sufficient enough to satisfy you.
After that I went about my day. When it was lunch time. I ate a salad. However, I used ranch dressing. It’s not ideal. But I don’t like the “good” dressings , the vinegar ones. I can’t stand vinegar. So again, I just portioned out the dressing with a measuring spoon. Around 3 I was starving so I ate a banana.
I did my chores and cooked dinner for my family in which I would not be eating. It helped to keep busy. Keep your mind distracted. But, cooking dinner for my family.. yeah day one and it was already getting old. Preparing something I would not be eating? Yeah. The love was just pouring out of me.
Then the moment of truth rolled around, 6 o clock. I made plans with my cousin to go up to the park and walk the trail. It’s a road actually. A road with the woods on either side, and google says it’s about 2 miles in length. So my guess is its four miles back and forth. But, don’t quote me on that. My workout guru said he thinks it’s more like 3 miles. Either way, it’s hilly with roads that wind and twist and turn and it’s a good work out. So off to the park I went.
And I felt like I was going to die.
I never felt like a fat person. I thought I was active. I walk everyday to the avenue to do errands, go to the bodega. I walk my dog several times a day. But, most importantly, I don’t sit on my ass all day long. I run a household. I clean. I cook. I do chores and laundry. I’m always doing something. I”m all over the house, running around like a chicken with its head cut off. Also, I have been care-taking for the past two years. So I’m always hunting down my father or my grandfather and end up helping them with whatever scheme they are doing for the day. Not to mention recently my mother has lost her goddamn mind. So I’ve been doing ridiculous cleaning and packing for a move, a move that isn’t happening for 2 years.
But boy was I wrong. It was shock and saddened me greatly. Plus, I really felt how bad my lungs were. My cousin and I power walked the whole trail and I was breathing like a beast.
I felt so very out of shape and my heart just damn near broke. We were just walking, a brisk walk yes, but walking nonetheless. A walk was a strenuous work out for me. Are you fucking kidding me? It was a reality check. More like a bitch smack right the fuck across my face.
When I came home, I was starving. I ate another salad but with two hard boiled eggs this time, advised by my cousin(lets just call him my workout guru, different cousin than the one i walked in the park with).
Afterwards, I was beat. I showered ,walked my dog and was ready to crawl into bed.
But, I couldn’t help feeling so sad. So I sat and thought about it. I went outside and did a work out. I dieted all day. I shook off the sadness and replaced it with pride. I would use this reality check as motivation. I don’t want to feel like that ever again. I followed through with day one of my health thing and it felt great. Both emotionally and physically. Yes, I was fucking tired. But at the same time I felt my lungs awaking and eager. I felt muscles in my body I haven’t felt in a long time. My body was dying to break free.
And in the mist of the chaos of my life , I found a sublime retreat for my mind in the wilderness of forest park and my body finally got a chance to stretch its legs.