Deranged Hormones

July 12th 2012- Diet Day 4

I was staring at my nearly empty lettuce dish, with browning lettuce leaves because not only was the dish eaten from it wasn’t closed properly. Lettuce is a big part of my diet. I have it with every meal or as a snack or as filler. Yeah, I don’t buy the groceries. But, when I’m the only person in the house on a diet at least have some consideration. Don’t eat the last fruit or finish off the lettuce, especially without telling me. They’re other things YOU can eat, but I cannot while on diet. So rude.

So I sent my dad to pathmark for supplies. But, he takes forever. So I was rummaging around the kitchen until I finally gave up. I went to the basement to score a banana from my grandfather. He has ritual every Sunday. He prays to his Gods and as an offering he lays out bananas. He usually brings half of them upstairs and then he keeps the other half from himself. But, lately he hasn’t been allowed to eat bananas cause his sugar is out of whack ( he is a diabetic). So he just leaves a few on the alter and brings them up later on in the week if he does not eat them. I remember once my hubby was eating a banana and he stopped mid bite with a conflicted look on his face. He asked me who bought the bananas and when I told him it was from my grandfather he was like “but, these are supposed to be to his Gods… and he gave them away… aren’t his Gods going to be mad…” I laughed. I think the point is show tribute to them and then when you eat the banana you have your Gods blessings. I really doubt his Gods would just want the bananas to spoil and be wasted. But, my hubby stopped eating bananas for a while until I told him “Hey my grandpa eats one every day and he is 92 years old, overcame many illnesses and is in better shape than most of us. I think the bananas are safe. “

But anyway, that was my breakfast of champions.

And my knee was killing me so I didn’t risk going to the park. So I used my exercise bike.

But, this is where I verve off and discuss an issue. A woman’s issue. I really don’t mind if you male readers skip this part, so this is your warning.

My menstrual cycle has become severely irregular because of the excess weight. It’s something big girls are familiar with. Some girls just stop getting it altogether. I remember when I first stopped getting it monthly. I was freaking the fuck out and for the very first time I bought a pregnancy test when I was on my way to school. I couldn’t wait to go home so I found a secluded bathroom and commandeered the handicapped stall. It was negative of course. But, the correct way to take a pregnancy test is first thing in the morning so I didn’t rest easy until the next morning. At this point though, about 3 years later, it’s an effective mode of birth control. I freak out about my cycle so much, even knowing it’s irregular. Even knowing my hubby’s cancer treatment affects his chances of reproducing. It’s damn near illogical to freak out. But, I still do. I have enough stress and worry, and with my luck, I just can’t even go there. But, even though I know it’s irregular, my cycle has become regulated irregular to a week once every 3 months. So low and behold my surprise when I got my period again when I just had it two and half weeks ago.

I almost prefer the irregular cycle. I forgot what it’s like to get your period every fucking month. What the fuck did women do to deserve that? It is a serious design flaw.

But, under all that it encouraged me. Stress is enough to mess up my irregular regular cycle, and boy do I got a lot of stress and worries. But three days of diet and exercise and it kick started my menstrual cycle? It made me happy to feel like I was really making a difference in my health.

And I couldn’t help but laugh myself to sleep that night. I’m already cranky from my diet. Now the universe is throwing PMS my way too. Oh boy. At least, my dad returned from Pathmark with coffee. Cause without that, surely I would go on a rampage from deranged hormones.

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