The Comfort Line

Diet Day 5- July 13th

Life interrupts routines. My readers are people I know in real life. So if you’re reading this you probably know my circumstance. For the past three years ( for my father) and almost two years for my fiancee I have been acting as a caretaker for them. Because of that, I’m home bound so I do laundry, clean and household chores( I would do it anyway cause I’m home but, ) that my mother orders me to do. I can’t forget about my special needs dog either. I’m like a stay at home wife and stay at home parent just without the kids. That’s why I have the liberty to eat on a schedule or go to the park in the mornings. I don’t have to report anywhere, so I don’t have much of a problem or conflict. If you’re going to school and/or working… its harder to maintain a health routine. Usually life dictates what you can and cannot do.

Today, life interrupted me.

Woke up in the morning to the news my Aunt is in the hospital. She had a bad asthma attack and actually passed out and stopped breathing. So breakfast and work out forgotten I showered and dressed while downing coffee and was heading to Rockaway before I knew it.

Turned out she was okay ( and is okay presently). But, my point with you today is how easy it is to break routine.

I could have stuck to at least the eating schedule. I could of ate something before I left. Even quickly. Oatmeal takes a minute to make. But, I choose not to. It’s the easy way out. What I’m used to doing. Old habits die hard. Needless to say, when I came home, I was starving. I ate a typical diet meal but Omar was eating one of those frozen pizzas. And, yes I took a few bites. But, I ‘m trying not to be anal about my diet. Strict, yes. But, not anal.

I also realized the only work out I am doing is walking in the park which is good cardio and what’s best for me… but also using the bike which is strictly legs and cardio. Basically all I’m working out is my lower half of my body.

So since I spent the day visiting my aunt then running around to get everything in the house done, I didn’t have time to go to the park. So I decided to use a resistant band, some 5pound dumbbells. And the shake weight. I did some stretches and warm up moves. Then I did a few sets of different exercises with the resistant band. The same with the dumbbell. Then I gave the shake weight a try.

And felt like an idiot. Then I felt weak. I could barely make that thing shake. But color me blue that shit actually works. It’s really a good work out. I felt it in my whole upper body. I was surprised.

But, I went to bed that night with a despondent outlook on my life. I wonder if I would have the motivation and dedication to stay on a health routine when I’m actually engaged in the outside world in whatever it may be (hopefully a job).

That’s when I realized that is exactly how I got to the place I am now, mentally and physically. I got sloppy. I stopped caring about myself. It happens when you wear jeans and tees and sneakers for half the day while you’re in and out the house doing errands. And PJS for the rest of the time. I wasn’t investing time into myself, mind or body. I was letting myself go but more importantly I was letting myself down. I’ve become a hermit. I live in my own little bubble of crazy. My hubby loves me unconditionally and it doesn’t matter what I look like, what I wear or what I eat or how often I eat or didn’t eat. He doesn’t obsess about that stuff as long as I’m happy. While I was happy, it was easy to just get lost in that comfort. I never had to think “do i look okay” or dress to impress.

But, it is that same comfort that is giving me inspiration to stay strict and dedicated. More importantly, he is reminding me to stay focused on myself. He flat out told me he would shove a cookie in my mouth if I was doing this for him, or family, or friends, or society or anyone or anything besides myself. And he’s not kidding. That’s why I love him. He is my bungee cord. He is giving me space to work on myself mentally and physically but he is the cord there to stop me from crashing and splattering on the ground, stop me before I fall. It gives me motivation to be healthy not for him but with him. While he is fighting cancer, I can fight my own fight too and in the future we can reap the benefits from out hard work together… happy and healthy.

So routine or not. Home bound or working. It doesn’t matter. If you want to do something, do it. Life will throw hurdles at you. If we stop every time a hurdle arises, we will never cross the finish line.

And I want to finish the race.

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