The Kid in Me

Diet Day 9- July 17th

I went to the park this morning…and I had company! My hubby came with me. Which is a big deal. He puts up a good front, but truth is, he’s sick alot. He has been unable to walk much or leave the house much, especially recently and especially in the heat. Every time he starts getting a little better something happens. Some cancer side effect gets in the way, or medication affect. But, he woke up feeling good. Good days are rare …so, pressured by yours truly, we went to the park together. I was freaking ecstatic. The hubby has been so supportive of my whole health thing and now to share it with him. He felt good to be out with me supporting me. Plus, before the cancer he was always an active person, on some ridiculous adventure.  So the two of us  went outside together…we both we’re just having a fun time, goofing around. We made it to the end of the trail and I realized something. I wasn’t tired like I usually am.  I told that to my hubby and he told me to try a little jog.

I wasn’t really self-conscious of anything or embarrassed to try, I just genuinely thought I couldn’t do it. Omar took the water bottle from my hand and gave me a smile and a playful shove. I put one foot in front the other hesitantly and I repeated and repeated and I was jogging before I knew what I was doing. I couldn’t jog for long or far, maybe about 40 seconds- a minute of jogging. But, I did my sprint of jogging. It was the first time I genuinely jogged for anything in God knows how long. When I finish my first sprint of jogging, I turned around and had a smile so big I could have given the kool aid character a run for his money. I felt so exhilarated.  So genuinely happy. Like a kid.

I don’t think I would have tried if it wasn’t for my hubby. While I had doubt in myself, he didn’t.  And once I tried, I wasn’t scared or doubtful no more. I started doing random sprints of jogging on the way back. “ I’m going to jog to the pole! I’m going to jog to that bush!”  The kid in me burst free, and was out to play.

About half way back, the hubby needed to rest. This was the most exercise he has done in a long time and he was just about spent. So we left the trail at the half way point to head home that way, a little bit shorter.  I would jog a little bit in front of him and then jog back to meet him.  I can’t remember the last time my spirits were this high.

When we got home, we realized him coming to the park was too much too soon for him. In fact, it was kind of  a stupid idea to begin with. To make a person who has been having random muscle spasm and nerve spasm for the past month to exert so much energy? Not our brightest moment. But, the type of person my hubby is, he rather enjoy his good day and pay for it the rest of the week. That’s exactly how long it took him to recover from our little woodland adventure.  Plus, he had unexpected allergies to the sun, he broke out in heat blisters.

It saddened me.  I hate to see him sick. Especially, after seeing him so happy and peaceful in the park, experiencing all the feelings I have been feeling since going to the park to work out. I love him and want to share everything with him.  But, it also encouraged me, to keep going and trying to become fit so we can actually have a future, and have a chance to be healthy and happy together.  He has his own fight with cancer to fight. Now, I have my fight for my health.

So while I was sad he was sick, and a bit guilty for nagging him to come with, I still was in high spirits. I’ve made an achievement today with genuine effort on my part and support from  my love. In sickness and in health we will be there for each other… even though it seems we’ve been doing nothing but savagely fighting for the health part.

But, we’re fighters. And stubborn. We may lose a round, but we’ll bounce back for the rematch.

And knowing we have each other in our corners, I have complete faith in winning.


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