Re(Acquainted ) Part Two
I’ll be honest; I’ve been putting off writing Part Two of this. I was debating back and forth if it’s interesting enough. After all, my health this isn’t a “How To” blog. No, word press is full of those if you’re interested. But, mine isn’t like that. So I didn’t want readers to sit here with notepad and pencil in hand eagerly waiting for all the answers, my weight loss secrets.
I don’t have the answers.
No one does.
Cause everyone is different. But, if you’re interested in the journey I am on to get healthy, fit, and eat properly. Please feel free to like, follow, comment or read along. It may be boring at times. But, I’m having tons of fun frolicking along this journey. I hope you will too.
I started my healthy journey on a random day/week in July. I didn’t know what I was doing ( still don’t). But I boiled it down to a specific routine.
I would eat on a schedule. My number one bad habit was not eating all day long then, stuffing my face with a massive meal (healthy or not). My metabolism has always been wrecked. So the point of the schedule was to help my body get the nutrients it needed, spread throughout the day, and help balance my metabolism. After a few weeks, I felt my body change. My metabolism was working for the first time in my life. I would feel myself get hungry. I felt more energized after a meal, not wanting to pass out and sleep. I felt good with a schedule. I wasn’t starving and it gave me something to stick too, keep from cheating.
I was on a very restricted diet. No junk food of any kind. I cut down the sugar I used in my coffee down to one spoon but after a few weeks I started to use Truvia. Low carbs. Low sodium. Low calorie. Portioned controlled. Of course I didn’t sit there measuring everything out with a scale or measuring cups. I would just be conscious of everything and limit the size. I cut out condiments. If I made meat like chicken I didn’t bomb it with spices, sazon and adobo and throw it a fry pan filled with oil like I usually do. One of my “recipes” was baked chicken breast seasoned with pepper, garlic powder and lemon juice and a splash of water (to keep if from drying out). I ate mainly veggies and would have my “load up” days. One day I would carbo load (indulge in sandwich or noodles or bread). One day I would protein load (with the chicken or turkey or seafood like tuna). But my meal plan was pretty much the same. Oatmeal every day for breakfast. Sometimes on occasional days I felt I was hungry or would need the extra calories kick I would fry one egg and have that on whole grain bread. I would have a banana or fruit after I came back from my work out. For lunch I would usually eat a peanut butter (no jelly) sandwich on whole grain bread or a salad. But my salads are pretty lame and plain. No salad dressing but that was because of my personal taste, not diet restrictions. Dinner would be my big meal, weather its egg salad, tuna salad, or grilled chicken salad. It was always something for protein and lettuce. After a few weeks I started buying these pre-portioned brown rice cups…put them in the microwave for one minute and it’s a perfect single serving of rice and add veggies for the side. Then after dinner a few hours later I would eat more lettuce or fruit. My fruits of choices were plums, nectarines, watermelon, honey dew melon and cantaloupe. My veggies of choice were broccoli and carrots sometimes some peppers.
I didn’t mind the diet. I got used to it. I wasn’t starving all the time. I didn’t feel deprived. I actually felt better.
That was a big part of the diet plan. I would exercise almost every day. I choose to go to my Local Park and use the trail… it’s about 4 miles. I started off walking. My goal is to eventually be fit enough to jog on the beach, nonstop, along the whole coast line. In the beginning, I just tried jogging, full throttle and I hurt myself. I had all kinds of fat pains. So I downgraded to a power walk. After a while I got the courage again to jog, but moderately so and it was wonderful. I didn’t hurt myself. I didn’t jog through and through the whole time. But I did nice longer sprints of jogging. It felt great.
Oh, I was a nut case. But, being on this journey made me look at myself in different ways. Like I said in part one, I don’t have low self-esteem. But, I am aware of how society and even people you know in your life, treat you differently and make judgments upon you based on how much you weigh and what you look like. Every so often, I share my two sense about that. You’ll be surprised how much mental aspects are in play with you start down a health journey. It has very little to do with food, but a lot to do with one’s own self.
Yes, the routine and the escape gave me something to commit too. It helped balanced the chaos of my life, and just have orders to follow. Eat now, park now, eat now , do your errands and chores, cook and clean, eat now, sleep. It was robotic in a way but the joy of working out in a park, every work out was different. Every day was different. I did ghetto work outs at homes and silly work outs to music blasting. I had fun with it. Challenged myself. But most importantly it gave my mind and emotions a break. It let my body take over and exert itself but in a good way. I felt lighter after a workout in more ways than one.
Why did I stop?
Nothing went wrong. I just got tired. For the first 5 -6 weeks I was faithful, strict and restricted and fully invested. I had a weight loss of 25 pounds. I had more stamina. I could jog again for the longest I ever could. I felt really good physically and emotionally. I was proud of myself
But then each week after I lost a little bit of motivation and dedication. I didn’t outright break the diet and regiment. I just became slack. Little more each week as something new and difficult was thrown my way. By the tenth week I stopped working out regularly, as in once a week or not at all.
I think it was the 12th week I ate snack foods. I didn’t sit there and eat a whole carton of ice cream or anything. I would have a cookie here or a twinkie there.
It’s wasn’t solely out of lack of dedication or will power or tossed up to laziness. Sure, it played a part. I can admit my mistakes. But, it mostly was real life impeded on me. Every week it was one pressing incident after another. Or sickness.
One week we had plumbing problems, serious big ones.
The next week I had women problems.
The following week I had the flu
The week after that, we had a sidewalk violation.
It seemed I lost control of my life. Each morning when I woke up something else needed my attention or I was told I would have to do this, help out with that, wait for service/repair men. It wasn’t my schedule anymore. It was forced upon me. I had criticism from friends, family.
It was negativity all around me.
It affected me.
Like I said a lot of this emotional and mental and I was just wiped out. So I checked out.
I spent some time being mopey and whinny. I was (and am) am severely unhappy with my personal/financial life (I hate living at home with my parents; I hate the judgment and drama always surrounding us… I just want to be independent and happy with my doggie and my fiancé elsewhere. Even friendships seemed to taper off as they were no longer supportive/caring and became judgmental.
So I spent a lot of time locked away in my room with the hubs and doggie and just applying to jobs, going to job fairs, making phone calls and just online job hunting. I applied to the higher end stuff at first. Some days I sat at the computer all day applying. A few weeks ago, I just started to apply to ANYTHING. I was avoiding retail and such. But I finally gave in especially since it’s the holidays and its seasonal hiring time. No judgmental or inferior feelings towards retail, it’s just my personality I wanted something really meaningful like working in a cancer center, or with sick children or with animal rescue groups. Even if I was the office’s go-for I didn’t care. Those kind of fields is where my passions and heart lies and I was trying so hard to apply to jobs like that. So again, no judgment from me, just a personal desire. But, I relented and started to apply to retail and after months of silence from the job world, I got a call back. It’s not an interview, but it’s a callback for a pre-interview interview. So that’s something. It’s a retail job. But, I’m happy about it.
So, my real life was making me unhealthy and unwilling to want to exercise, diet, plan and just all the work and energy it takes both physically and mentally. This was two weeks ago, when I stopped counting.
Last week it would have been around the 15th or 16th week I think. While I didn’t just throw everything out the window, I wasn’t really on the diet anymore. I still ate better naturally. I can’t revert back to eating whatever, whenever. I am now conscious of ingredients and calories and what it can do to my body. SO my overall choices are better choices. But, I also tried to enjoy the little things in life. Like for my bestie’s birthday (the only friend who stands by my side through and through) we baked a cake and we ate it without remorse.
Why start again?
I feel sluggish again. I’m feeling the stamina level decrease again. I don’t want everything I worked for to be in vain and go to waste. I still have the dream of jogging on the beach and I don’t want to go another summer without being able to accomplish that.
I dedicated to grow a pair and keep pressing forward. I accomplished a lot not just with the poundage but mentally and physically. But, if the pounds matter to you , I didn’t gain anything back. It stayed off.
I now have a different heart and a different mind. It only makes sense to have a different diet as well.
I will be starting a whole new venture, causing a whole different RIOT.
Let’s try this again