Re(Acquainted ) Part Two

I’ll be honest; I’ve been putting off writing Part Two of this. I was debating back and forth if it’s interesting enough.  After all, my health this isn’t a “How To” blog.  No, word press is full of those if you’re interested. But, mine isn’t like that. So I didn’t want readers to sit here with notepad and pencil in hand eagerly waiting for all the answers, my weight loss secrets.

I don’t have the answers.

No one does.

Cause everyone is different. But, if you’re interested in the journey I am on to get healthy, fit, and eat properly. Please feel free to like, follow, comment or read along.  It may be boring at times. But, I’m having tons of fun frolicking along this journey. I hope you will too.

I started my healthy journey on a random day/week in July. I didn’t know what I was doing ( still don’t). But I boiled it down to a specific routine.

1)  Scheduling.

I would eat on a schedule.  My number one bad habit was not eating all day long then, stuffing my face with a massive meal (healthy or not). My metabolism has always been wrecked. So the point of the schedule was to help my body get the nutrients it needed, spread throughout the day, and help balance my metabolism.  After a few weeks, I felt my body change. My metabolism was working for the first time in my life. I would feel myself get hungry. I felt more energized after a meal, not wanting to pass out and sleep.  I felt good with a schedule. I wasn’t starving and it gave me something to stick too, keep from cheating.

2) Food.
I was on a very restricted diet. No junk food of any kind.  I cut down the sugar I used in my coffee down to one spoon but after a few weeks I started to use Truvia.  Low carbs. Low sodium. Low calorie. Portioned controlled. Of course I didn’t sit there measuring everything out with a scale or measuring cups. I would just be conscious of everything and limit the size. I cut out condiments. If I made meat like chicken I didn’t bomb it with spices, sazon and adobo and throw it a fry pan filled with oil like I usually do. One of my “recipes” was baked chicken breast seasoned with pepper, garlic powder and lemon juice and a splash of water (to keep if from drying out). I ate mainly veggies and would have my “load up” days. One day I would carbo load (indulge in sandwich or noodles or bread). One day I would protein load (with the chicken or turkey or seafood like tuna).  But my meal plan was pretty much the same. Oatmeal every day for breakfast.  Sometimes on occasional days I felt I was hungry or would need the extra calories kick I would fry one egg and have that on whole grain bread.  I would have a banana or fruit after I came back from my work out. For lunch I would usually eat a peanut butter (no jelly) sandwich on whole grain bread or a salad. But my salads are pretty lame and plain. No salad dressing but that was because of my personal taste, not diet restrictions. Dinner would be my big meal, weather its egg salad, tuna salad, or grilled chicken salad. It was always something for protein and lettuce. After a few weeks I started buying these pre-portioned brown rice cups…put them in the microwave for one minute and it’s a perfect single serving of rice and add veggies for the side.   Then after dinner a few hours later I would eat more lettuce or fruit. My fruits of choices were plums, nectarines, watermelon, honey dew melon and cantaloupe. My veggies of choice were broccoli and carrots sometimes some peppers.

I didn’t mind the diet. I got used to it. I wasn’t starving all the time. I didn’t feel deprived. I actually felt better.

 

3) Exercise.
That was a big part of the diet plan. I would exercise almost every day. I choose to go to my Local Park and use the trail… it’s about 4 miles.  I started off walking. My goal is to eventually be fit enough to jog on the beach, nonstop, along the whole coast line.  In the beginning, I just tried jogging, full throttle and I hurt myself.  I had all kinds of fat pains. So I downgraded to a power walk. After a while I got the courage again to jog, but moderately so and it was wonderful. I didn’t hurt myself.  I didn’t jog through and through the whole time. But I did nice longer sprints of jogging. It felt great.

 

4)  Mental.
Oh, I was a nut case. But, being on this journey made me look at myself in different ways. Like I said in part one, I don’t have low self-esteem. But, I am aware of how society and even people you know in your life, treat you differently and make judgments upon you based on how much you weigh and what you look like. Every so often, I share my two sense about that.  You’ll be surprised how much mental aspects are in play with you start down a health journey. It has very little to do with food, but a lot to do with one’s own self.

 

5)  Escape.
Yes, the routine and the escape gave me something to commit too. It helped balanced the chaos of my life, and just have orders to follow.  Eat now, park now, eat now , do your errands and chores, cook and clean, eat now, sleep.  It was robotic in a way but the joy of working out in a park, every work out was different. Every day was different. I did ghetto work outs at homes and silly work outs to music blasting. I had fun with it. Challenged myself. But most importantly it gave my mind and emotions a break. It let my body take over and exert itself but in a good way. I felt lighter after a workout in more ways than one.

 

Why did I stop?

Nothing went wrong. I just got tired.  For the first 5 -6 weeks I was faithful, strict and restricted and fully invested.  I had a weight loss of 25 pounds. I had more stamina. I could jog again for the longest I ever could. I felt really good physically and emotionally. I was proud of myself

But then each week after I lost a little bit of motivation and dedication. I didn’t outright break the diet and regiment. I just became slack. Little more each week as something new and difficult was thrown my way. By the tenth week I stopped working out regularly, as in once a week or not at all.

I think it was the 12th week I ate snack foods. I didn’t sit there and eat a whole carton of ice cream or anything. I would have a cookie here or a twinkie there.

It’s wasn’t solely out of lack of dedication or will power or tossed up to laziness. Sure, it played a part. I can admit my mistakes. But, it mostly was real life impeded on me.  Every week it was one pressing incident after another. Or sickness.

One week we had plumbing problems, serious big ones.
The next week I had women problems.
The following week I had the flu
The week after that, we had a sidewalk violation.

It seemed I lost control of my life. Each morning when I woke up something else needed my attention or I was told I would have to do this, help out with that, wait for service/repair men. It wasn’t my schedule anymore. It was forced upon me.  I had criticism from friends, family.

It was negativity all around me.

It affected me.
Like I said a lot of this emotional and mental and I was just wiped out. So I checked out.

I spent some time being mopey and whinny. I was (and am) am severely unhappy with my personal/financial life (I hate living at home with my parents; I hate the judgment and drama always surrounding us… I just want to be independent and happy with my doggie and my fiancé elsewhere. Even friendships seemed to taper off as they were no longer supportive/caring and became judgmental.

So I spent a lot of time locked away in my room with the hubs and doggie and just applying to jobs, going to job fairs, making phone calls and just online job hunting. I applied to the higher end stuff at first.  Some days I sat at the computer all day applying. A few weeks ago, I just started to apply to ANYTHING. I was avoiding retail and such. But I finally gave in especially since it’s the holidays and its seasonal hiring time. No judgmental or inferior feelings towards retail, it’s just my personality I wanted something really meaningful like working in a cancer center, or with sick children or with animal rescue groups. Even if I was the office’s go-for I didn’t care.  Those kind of fields is where my passions and heart lies and I was trying so hard to apply to jobs like that. So again,  no judgment from me, just a personal desire. But, I relented and started to apply to retail and after months of silence from the job world, I got a call back. It’s not an interview, but it’s a callback for a pre-interview interview. So that’s something. It’s a retail job. But, I’m happy about it.

So, my real life was making me unhealthy and unwilling to want to exercise, diet, plan and just all the work and energy it takes both physically and mentally. This was two weeks ago, when I stopped counting.

Last week it would have been around the 15th or 16th week I think. While I didn’t just throw everything out the window, I wasn’t really on the diet anymore. I still ate better naturally. I can’t revert back to eating whatever, whenever. I am now conscious of ingredients and calories and what it can do to my body. SO my overall choices are better choices.  But, I also tried to enjoy the little things in life. Like for my bestie’s birthday (the only friend who stands by my side through and through) we baked a cake and we ate it without remorse.

Why start again?
I feel sluggish again. I’m feeling the stamina level decrease again. I don’t want everything I worked for to be in vain and go to waste. I still have the dream of jogging on the beach and I don’t want to go another summer without being able to accomplish that.

I dedicated to grow a pair and keep pressing forward. I accomplished a lot not just with the poundage but mentally and physically. But, if the pounds matter to you , I didn’t gain anything back. It stayed off.

I now have a different heart and a different mind.  It only makes sense to have a different diet as well.

I will be starting a whole new venture, causing a whole different RIOT.

Let’s try this again
with:

PHASE TWO

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About Corner of Confessions

My writings will tell my tale

12 responses to “Re(Acquainted ) Part Two”

  1. tfaswift says :

    Dear dietriotgirl, I have no idea what your situation is and I cannot offer advice; it just sounds like other people put a lot of pressure on you to deal with things and expect you to take care of things because you are naturally efficient. Is there no alternative? Is there any end in sight to when your life becomes your own? Not so as to be selfish or uncaring, but to where you have *some* of the weight lifted from your shoulders because it sounds like an awful lot.

    I’m not surprised that you felt wiped out. And when we feel like that and it’s time to eat, we will normally grab something fast and delicious. Plus, where would you find the energy to exercise? I think you also mentioned to me that you don’t get much sleep. Is there no way to perhaps tweak the routine a bit, get other people to chip in just a bit to lighten the load on you? Give you time for an extra hour of sleep. Give you time to decompress? Time not to run yourself into the ground so, of course, you’re going to eat whatever is tasty and comforting?

    I applaud your determination. You have what it takes, and I know you’ll get there. I just wish it could be a bit easier for you.

    • Corner of Confessions says :

      Yes, i come from a family( a mother) who is nothing but greedy. Nothing is ever good enough. All she is concerned about is money. When i was in college she would nag and complain about me getting a job. Now that i’m out of school all she does is nag about going back to get a better job. She has been trying to make me pursue jobs I have no interest in doing( she wants me to become a home health aid , but I don’t want to do that for a living, i do that everyday with my fiance and my father and you don’t get to pick the patients you do get) . It’s a sad life she lives. Always concerned about money and that greed is all consuming. Sure i understand the pressure she is under being the sole provider and trying to keep a house hold afloat . But , she even went as far as saying she’ll give up Bianca to the ASPCA to save a buck. I told her I rather live on the street with my dog than allow that. Money shouldn’t be held in that high of a regard. So me staying home and care-taking? To her i’m siting home on my butt all day long doing nothing. Yet, she leaves a list of things for me do each and every day and then comes home and says ” what did youdo all day?” Gee i dont know your list of demands. It’s just not a healthy living situation. Of course when i work I will contribute but i hope to work and save and eventually move out with the hubby. I just wonder how she will manage when I’m gone. I can guarantee when im working i still will be expected to do all the chores and house stuff. Meanwhile my brother is like a prince. She even cleans HIS room. BUt, i’m learning to ignore it all. I do what i have to do to keep the house orderly, take care of my father and the hubby and Bianca. When i work, I will continue to do so because i WANT to. I no longer care for her appreciation or gratitude .

      I dont let it get to me anymore. I dont expect help from anyone. I just MAKE time for myself and with this diet it’s a nice way to break away from it all and invest into myself. I choose to read a book or write a blog instead of turning in early because it’s my passion, its my hobby. It keeps me healthy and sane.

  2. tfaswift says :

    Dear dietriotgirl, I’m so sorry about your mum. In a way I can understand because I have had a very difficult relationship with my mother where she left me feeling completely inadequate and not the kind of daughter that she had hoped for. I have finally, at age 38, made my peace with that. Mothers are just people like anyone else. I reckon we’re lucky if we get one really nice parent. Thankfully I’ve got my dad, and it sounds like you have too. I really hope and pray that his health improves and he makes a full recovery with no more problems.

    What a thing to say about Bianca!! And yet, that’s such a common thing. I find it amazing how the dog is always the first thing to go when money gets tight. I remember when I was so poor I was having to grow my own food, catch fish and even sometimes kill a rooster with my own hands to survive. I had a few dogs back then – strays that I’d picked up off the streets – and one thing I made sure of, is no matter how bad things got, they never felt it. They always got food. They were always clean. They had a great big garden to run around and play. I couldn’t always afford the dog food, but they got fresh eggs, fish, chicken, bread with milk, rice, and anything they would eat from the veggie garden, e.g. baked potatoes with butter. They probably liked that food better than when I was able to afford the dog food!! 🙂

    I even fed veggies to my chickens to save money on chicken food! I’d just chop a whole pumpkin in half, bake it, and let them at it. They *loved* it because it was yummy plus full of pumpkin seeds! I’d feed them all kinds of cooked veggies. They loved it especially in winter – nice soft warm veggies. In summer I’d share the fruit from my trees with them. And I had a giant compost heap where they’d scratch around for worms and bugs. I grew my own corn to feed them.

    I feel so bad about those roosters that I sometimes had to cook, but I needed to eat and feed my dogs. I gave the roosters a great life for as long as I could. I never kept my chickens locked up; they were free to run around 4 acres including some forest. And I’d always choose an old rooster, or an aggressive one who liked to fight. Never the sweet and gentle ones. I’d cry when it was time to go and get one of the roosters, and it still makes me cry when I think about it. But I survived, and one big rooster would feed four dogs.

    I never thought I’d see the end of that period of my life. I just never ever thought it would end. Now I look back, and it’s like almost surreal because everything has changed. So don’t worry, everything will get better for you too. One day you’ll look back on this and realise that it just made you stronger and wiser. You did what you had to do, and you did it the best that you could.

    You have my deep respect. You are indeed very strong. I know you have a job now, so I won’t expect to hear from you so often. I’ll be there whenever you feel like stopping by. 🙂

    • dietriotgirl says :

      Wow Tilda, that was really amazing of you! Very inspiring to read how you became self sufficient and able to live all the land. Honestly, that sounds like better healthily living and eating than being able to afford groceries shopping at the supermarket. It must of been so hard but yet you are able to look back at that time with fondness.

      When i was young a teen, my dream was to own a farm and be in the wilderness with a field of corn and have all types of animals. Now as I’m older i realize I would become too attached to eat and every animal and wouldn’t have the heart for it. I was contemplating maybe a shelter for dogs, a ranch resort for doggies. But again, I would become too attached to each dog and I don’t think I have the heart to properly train a dog ( it takes a certain amount of assertiveness and sternness). Bianca gets away with murder simply because she gives me the look with her puppy eyes and I cave right away.

      I think we’re settling on the idea of a small town/ country town living. So we can at least be surrounded by nature even though we don’t have the skills and heart to actually raise animals and such.

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    fall Again ,, Fall again,, never fail,, but Fall Again…

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  5. simpleholly says :

    Hey, I love this post because I can relate to it so much. I have a very strict diet habit as well, I don’t eat meat (just fish), I try my best not to eat junk food and I have an exercising routine that I follow. And all that stress and “judgement and drama that surrounds us” you write about are so relatable, this entire article is so easy on the eyes and I love the way you write! – SimpleHolly

    • Corner of Confessions says :

      Thank you so much love! I’m glad you found yourself relating to everything I had to say. I have so many friends in real life that struggle with their health and I wanted to write about my journey because we’re all on some sort of journey or another. I think we can learn from each other and it helps to know we aren’t on these journeys alone. Thank you for taking the time to read ( i tend to ramble ) and respond. It is much appreciated!

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