Promise

I’m Terrible and I know it. I’ve been such a bad blogger. I know it’s been a while since I’ve updated and I kept updating with an update. Unfortunately , this is another update post. But keeping with the integrity of my blog, I want to be honest with you all.

I haven’t started phase two of my diet.

While I have not been eating all crazy, I haven’t really been eating much at all. Which is still not healthy. And as i shared with you all in previous posts,  this was my number one bad habit and why i struggled so much with weight management… i kill my metabolism by not eating all day long.

I’m not skinny, and I don’t not eat for anorexic reasons. I’m not starving myself on purpose. I just dont feel hungry or feel I have the proper time to make, eat and clean up and digest my food.  I lost and maintained the loss of 25 pounds from Phase one of my diet. It’s just i relapsed into these unhealthy habits in living life.

First it was laziness. I’ll own up to that. Then it was doctors and then its was job interviews and job hunting. Then it was the mess of Hurricane Sandy and hosting family.
Now? It’s the mess of working a seasonal retail job. My hours are all over the place. While I am only a part time hire, my schedule has been completely whacked. I worked 8 hours closing the store one night, then i worked 8 hours opening the next day.

I’m brand new with no prior retail experience so I had all that lovely training in HR offices. And then was thrust onto the work floor. It’s a learn as you go type of deal. But, pretty nerve wrecking especially working a  register and dealing with money.

If I’m working more than 6 hours that day, I get a lunch break. However, I don’t get that hungry feeling anymore. I eat something small before i leave for work with my coffee. So when it’s meal break weather its lunch or dinner time I don’t feel hungry. Maybe it’s mental cause I’m the type that can’t rush and eat. So what do i do? I don’t eat. As a new hire we don’t have lockers and such yet so I wasn’t bringing much with me to work. Packing lunch may be the only option for me if I wish to maintain a healthy plan. Cause I don’t even eat fast food. Which is all you can find in the food court. But , by time i make it to the HR office to clock out for lunch , rush over to the food court, wait online to order something, get my food it’s almost time for my lunch to be up and have to go back to HR to clock back in. So , i just drink water and step outside for fresh air or a smoke. ( Yeah , I haven’t ditched the habit yet, but that’s in the diet.health plan too).

Today is Thanksgiving.  I hardly ate and not for lack of time or food.  Having relapsed into eating once a day or something small for breakfast before work and then a small dinner like a sandwich when I come home, my appetite has shrunk.  I made this big plate and I ate like a quarter of it and I was full. My mother had an array of pies and cakes and usually I would pick at a piece of each. I barely managed to eat one SMALL slice. I still feel so stuffed.

I killed my metabolism.

I have noticed my clothes are a little roomier and I think that’s from work. Walking the aisle none stop at work, doing returns and standing at the register…always in movement.  But, i’m not living healthy.

I’m being honest. Cause I value my blog and I value my readers.

I do promise you this, cause I promised myself this too, I WILL get back on the healthy path. Just because it’s not convenient , my schedule makes things a little hard… doesn’t mean I should just say eff it.

But like i said in other posts, there is also a mental and emotional side of things. It’s very hard for me to go to work and be away from my family. My first day off I cuddled in bed all day with my fiancee and my dog, I missed them so much. I thought about going to the park to walk and work out , but the fiancee being sick and my dog being a little dog and lazy, they can’t work out. So i choose to stay home instead of working out.

I have to find a compromise though. So that’s the next venture! Figuring things out!  :Nods:

I can live with that. Acknowledge my mistakes, own up to them and then map out a plan.  Cause that’s all we can do with anything in life, live life and figure it out.

But, fair warning, I”m working Black Friday. After this post I’m going to shower and pick out an outfit and do my hair and all that stuff. Then I have to head to bed to be up at 4am to be ready to leave at 5am to be at work by 6am. I work 6am-4pm.  I am beyond scared and nervous. I don’t feel ready and trained enough for this type of crowd and swarms of people.  But, trying to think positive thoughts.
So, I may be missing from wordpress ( not just updating my blog, but viewing and commenting on yours as well) altogether for the next day or two.

But , I haven’t vanished. I shall always return. I promise.

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About Corner of Confessions

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8 responses to “Promise”

  1. how safe is natox says :

    But at times, restricting the consumption of certain food groups becomes necessary to shed body fat.
    At worst, you can seriously damage your metabolism, making it impossible to lose weight even when you eat quite few calories.
    When you read a few of the bee pollen weight reduction pills reviews around the Internet or watch the videos on You – Tube, a single thing strikes you straightaway.

    • dietriotgirl says :

      Yes, good advice. I know i hurt my metabolism. Working odd hours it’s hectic but when I get my first paycheck I’m going to buy those smoothie drinks and have those while at work for my meal break so at least I can help my metabolism stay active. I do eat two meals a day before i leave for work and when i come home. I’m a part time seasonal help that’s why my schedule is so odd. If they decide to keep me after the holidays I would have a more solid schedule ( though still nothing consistent , it wont be -5) but a little more manageable for a meal schedule and work out schedule. I’m off the next three days in a row so I’m planning on a little health routine. Like this morning i had coffee and oatmeal. I will eat a salad for lunch even though I don’t feel hungry. And then at dinner time I will be cooking some stew chicken. Today, no exercise but I’m cleaning and such so I’m not laying around doing nothing. Got to run errands and laundry so i will be active today. Tomorrow and the next day i plan on setting time aside to work out. Everyone works and I don’t want to use work as an excuse to live unhealthy.

  2. nishi01 says :

    Hey! You “must” eat! You cannot possibly go on longer like this! Hoping to see u back soon!

    • dietriotgirl says :

      My dear, thank you. I know. I’ve been working on it. I eat before i leave for work and when i come home. I’m working retail in a big franchise clothing store, so my hours are not 9-5…it’s all over the place. Sometimes i only work 5 or 6 hours ( since I’m part time) so it’s not that bad as it sounds. I do eat for the day. I’m not starving myself. But i have to work on building back my metabolism cause I eat but i don’t feel hungry and I’m full off a small few bites. Which is not good. I get my first pay check Saturday so when i get money I’m going to buy smoothies/ meal supplements, thinking about the special K protein shakes, and bring it to work so on my break even if I’m not hungry I can drink that as a meal and keep my body nourished and help my metabolism kick back into gear.

  3. JasmineKyleSings says :

    I am trying SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO hard not to eat AS much. I eat healthy things but if you eat 9 lettuce cups it’s still 9! i don’t want to be a size 6 but I would like to be a 12? You know??

    • dietriotgirl says :

      I completely understand! I dont want to this skinny little thing. I don’t actually care what size I am , as long as I’m fit..meaning I have the physical endurance to work out and do out door things and just overall stamina. Working retail it’s kicking me on my butt , every single second I am doing something sometimes stock, sometimes giving customers tours of the store , other times I’m stuck on register. We actually aren’t allowed to stand around and do nothing we have to “make up” work when there is nothing to do. Today is my day off and I am SORE. But, everyday i work, i feel my stamina building and I feel less tired when i come home if it make sense. I’m working hard to get back on some sort of eating healthy path and this week I haven’t been that bad. Eating twice a day and cut down on junk food snacks. Working on cutting it out completely again. It’s a journey of health that we all are on and I’m taking it a step at a time. Little changes at a time tend to develop better living habits in general and that equates to long term results. I still maintained the weight loss i had of 25 pounds for Phase One of my diet.

  4. diets that work says :

    Saved as a favorite, I like your blog!

  5. diets that work says :

    Hola! I’ve been following your site for a long time now and finally got the bravery to go ahead and give you a shout out from Houston Tx! Just wanted to say keep up the good job!

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